The time I bought an Empathy Field Channeler

Emotional numbness has been a big issue for me. While my life is very busy - being a father of two and dealing with a divorce case, acting as a centerpiece in overseeing the merge between two of the country’s largest electric facilities, and still leading the local anthropological studies club - My brain’s natural “quality” of going into automatic mode most of the time - depriving me of feeling the negatives and positives of everyday life - makes me feel empty in the long run and characterized by a lack of emotion and a need to feel anything.

If you’ve recently turned on your TV and don’t have the money to pay for the abusive streaming services available on the market, you’ve probably come across one of those weird ads on free channels where the commercials are longer lasting than the mediocre episodes of series that have already jumped the shark, like a family in trouble and my mom is a thief. Every three hours or so the same advertisement about the so-called EFC pops up on the screen and the presenter with her extremely thin voice squeals over and over again.

Tired of not feeling anything? Tired of not even feeling tired? Buy now our new product, the Empathy Field Channeler, popularly known as Empathield! It’s very simple to use, after attaching our sticker to your frontal cortex, choose in your Empathield’s interface the distance at which you will feel all the emotions of others, ranging from 1 to 500 meters in diameter! Dont feel it? Empathield!

Feeling too much is definitely bad. Like, very bad. I don’t want to suffer too much, but worse than that is not suffering AT ALL; It’s like not being alive. The week before the last, I’ve gotten completely out of my mind at parties that take place near the transhumanism clubs just to see if the remorse that would come after making every possible mistake in one night would make me feel better. And they really did, but given the short-term of feelings, I doubt I could last another year in this routine of working and having sex with 4-armed-and-augmented-perception-non-binary-machines after using a high amount of hallucinogens without dying.

So I bought an Empathield for myself. As the product has a guaranteed government seal of legal and tested product, it arrived very quickly, and I took the opportunity to test it in one of the government assisted divorce sessions, you know? 5 sessions with the wife justifying separations and assets mediated by 3 representatives of the marriage association. I never thought I would be part of the small number of divorces in the society we live in today, but it’s probably for the children’s sake.

As my now soon-to-be-ex-wife justified her inability to love me due to my emotional absence and the lack of support she had from me in pursuing her dreams, I was in heaven, feeling the rising anger in her voice as she spoke of me, an the sadness of the representatives having to document the city’s first divorce in 8 months. I could spend hours and hours going through all the turmoil of emotions she was feeling; disappointment, sadness, pity, rancor and even the occasional relief between breaks that symbolized the end of our relationship and a new beginning for her were parasitic on my mind and produced all the chemicals that gave my body fluids reasons to run through my body.

Dont feel it? Empathield!